Ok…Now this is the version of The Village I wanted!! Oh wait, this is a video game.

The wait is FINALLY OVER! We now have our hands on Resident Evil VILLAGE! Hold on…

Was there ever a wait?! Last I remember about this game was when it was teased, it was like January or December. (Not sure, it wasn’t that long ago!) So that wait, wasn’t all that long…

Maybe it was a long wait for those Lady Demitrescu fans…ok, I’ll admit I’m one!! But I was wasn’t counting calendar days until her in-game model was used for NSFW purposes. (Rule 34, adult bros and fems, research at your own risk!)

I got what all that hype was about, 10 ft tall drink of water after all!

Joe’s joke on Demitrescu is just hilarious!
The Angry Joe Show – The terrifying Lady D!!! RE8 REVIEW

So did I get what I wanted out of my Resident Evil Village experience?!?!?! AB_SO-LUTE-LY!!

Right away, I wanted to remind the population (you) that I’m an OG Resident Evil fan, circa 1996, my guys! I read the lore, the wikis and have even read the S.D. Perry Novels way back when! With that said, you may as well give me my honorary doctorate in Resident Evil lore; I’ll take that oversized piece of paper and flash it like the Stars and Stripes on Memorial Day!!!

(BTW my salute is raised to my fellow members, now and forever!)

Moving onto what this whole article is about… Resident Evil Village AKA RE8.

Right away, this is your warning!

THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!!!!

RE8 starts where the last teaser left off, with Chris Redfield’s boot on Mia Winters as he pops off a few bullets in her. Quite the abrupt heel turn, my dude! I guess that was how they wanted to take this rollercoaster. This event leads into Ethan Winters (the primary protagonist in RE Biohazard, AKA RE7) and his infant daughter being kidnapped by Redfield.

–Techradar

AAAAAAAnnnnnd of course, none of this goes to plan as the vehicle is attacked by an unknown bioweapon, leaving Ethan stranded in a nearby village, which just so happens to be a den full every damn monster that Capcom can think of!!! Holy F*ck is this guy the most unlucky motherf*ckin’ dad EVER!!!! But hey, its a game!

Playing this, felt like a strong blend of Resident Evil 4 and 7, enemies come at you in almost horde numbers, yet ammo is plentiful and treasure is to be found! (Yes, there is a money and merchant system, too!)

Yet the interior environments bring you back into the claustrophobic castle, mansion, cave and factory settings that are the core of the series. Hell, you feel that the development team truly wanted to show love to many of the unexplored horror elements, especially in the Benviento and Demitrescu sections, which I felt were the strongest part, creative-wise.

The enemy variety was another big step-up for me. There are werewolves, armored werewolves, regular wolves, old giant wolves, really hairy wolves, wolves with cheese…

Joking aside, there are tons of different varieties beyond the wolves: zombie-like vampires, cybernetic junk monsters, flying crow people and LOTS of bosses!!! Hell some reviewers have referred this game to being one big ass boss rush or the main bad guys being like the Fox Hound Unit from Metal Gear.

In response to that, I’d say its more the latter, with each of the major bosses having their our back stories, personalities and agendas on the world they live in. I’d say, this is the same formula seen from RE7, but executed in a cleaner fashion. Lady D is elegent and well spoken, Moreau is vile and dim-witted, Heisenburg (Stop, no I won’t say it!) is chatty and cunning and you get the drift.

Capcom

Overall, I dove into RE8 like I do every time I’m playing my a series I love. I stay off the internet until I’ve played it!!!!! I know, why are you here?! Am I going to see you again now that I’ve told you the best way to avoid spoilers!!! Because its common sense; avoid the hype and jump in blindly!

Also, stay away from Mashable and Screen Rant, those are valuable minutes of your that are being wasted! (Just my opinion!)

Jesus from what I understood, the internet spoiled the ending and everything! How does that bring anyone joy?!

Regardless, RE8 shoots a good game and tells a good story…with one big EXEMPTION. The original cast isn’t here…no Jill, Barry, Leon, Sherry or Claire are here, nor are they mentioned anywhere in the game! This was my only true complaint and truly wished there were some. Fans of the series have been grown attached to these characters and their stories.

Ethan is great and his story is closed out pretty well, but there wasn’t even screen time put in for cameos. The ending will certainly leave you with a lot of questions on where the series goes from here…beat it (or tube it), you’ll see!

RE8 is an awesome game and holds up better than most of the series predecessors and improves on everything that RE7 did! However, I think I’m ready for that 3rd person or fixed camera gameplay again, as I think Capcom has pulled almost every trick they can with a first-person perspective that hasn’t been done before!

Ok, I’m done talking, as I could go on forever about this and the series. You’ll definitely enjoy this one!

This was played on the Playstation 5

PS5…STILL ALIVE!!!

So what, if I dropped off of the face of the Earth…I got a PS5!! (Viewer hovers over the close tab X)

No no NO!! Ok, I know, I KNOW! Nobody has one, I get it! I checked all of the Twitter feeds, subscribed to a few hundred, dubious profiles that were called PS5/Xbox Series X RESTOCK 2020 !!!!!

Rest assured that, A) I will be hacked at some point soon and B) There Will Be Blood!

Okay, so none of that may happen, I don’t know…Only a blogger, not a fortune teller!

In all honesty, only I was able was to snag one was…to get a hookup. As in, I had a friend who “bought” two of them. (Literal quote, dunno what, why, when or how)

But he sold one to me for $100 extra and man IS IT AWESOME!!! (Considering I’m upgrading from the stock PS4)

Yet, I felt pretty sad, because I really just lucked into getting one, whereas the rest of the globe ISN’T going to be as such.

Hopefully gaming companies and vendors will start to put their actual customers in mind during a console launch, instead of the scalpers and wholesalers that are ripping you and me off. ($100 dollars, let alone 600 is a LOT for a dad with with 2 kids, wife and 2 dogs)

There was no lines because the pandemic, but it still could’ve been handled better and less under the pure focus on corporate greed. This is the sole reason a LARGE majority of this year’s games for the PS5/Xbox Series X are delayed into 2021. Sure there is a chip shortage and the cryptocurrency craze and auto industry are ripping away at the what little microchips there are.

I just could’ve addressed better. But that is all hindsight and I, nor you could’ve manipulated the cogs of this new console generation. Here’s to hoping there is a brighter future all of us gamers and that you can get one or two in the near future!

Until then, lets enjoy a couple wonderful attempts at the ingenuity of the 2020 pandemic for us gamers!

What we REALLY want!

• http://www.respawncomic.com

 

The the Line Drawn in the Sand

Recently, a few articles popped out at me.  One was briefly about the Steam network banning the title, “Rape Day”, which was a hit to their unstable company to customer relationship, in regards to censorship.  But I felt it was 100% RIGHT MOVE, on their part.  The game literally centralizes itself on gratuitous sexual violence.  So yeah, definitely not something we need as a game or really anything beyond what has been done already.

Personally, I think Rockstar crossed the line when they added a interactive torture scene in Grand Theft Auto V.  Sure, they weren’t doing it to push the boundaries, but maybe to see how a player would respond to torturing someone in-game.  It was sort like the Milgram Experiment, you didn’t necessarily have a choice unless you progressed.  Then again, maybe you did if you’d stopped playing.

-Rockstar Games

GTA has always been the benchmark on how far games will go and I’ve yet to see the series or any other game (that wasn’t considered pornographic or hentai) add a rape as a gameplay element.  Why?!  Because that is where 99% of people will draw the “line in the sand.”  It’s one thing to have it portrayed as a negative point in a narrative, but a direct interaction is almost a perpetuation of the crime itself.

Now a couple days ago I read about Devil May Cry 5’s western censorship.

Courtesy of Dualshockers

All I can say is, WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM???  It’s just a woman’s bare ass!  Not only that, it’s more like a half-moon!  Go watch an episode of “The Simpsons” and you’ll see more nudity there, male and female.  For the longest time, nudity and sexual censorship has been a real head-scratching topic for me.  It’s probably because I was an amateur artist in my high school days.  Or maybe it’s the fact, that I learned about art from books about popular artists of the Italian Renaissance. (Like the painting by Rafael seen below)

Why is the human body, man or woman, so scary?!  Isn’t sex one of our many necessary functions as human beings?!

Now I understand that children are never to be associated with the coupling of two human beings, outside the subject of birth.  It is just something we don’t do, so we protect our children by parenting.  Which stems from the lessons of our history, that are projected through previous generations to keep us protected until we are ready.   However, parents and adults cannot protect their children forever, as the world has its ways of revealing the fact of life:  anatomy, death, sexuality and violence.  Which is why we should be there for them, to give them the proper guidance on the realities of life.

I was roughly 11 years old, when I had my first exposure to graphic violence.  It was a boring Saturday and I ended up crashing on my living room couch.  I’d slept a bit, to just about 9pm, when my brother and sister popped in the movie “Friday the 13th”.  (both were 15 and 19 at the time)  Before they’d started it, I was told to get out and that the movie was too scary for me.

However, I was a bit of a hard-head and thought that I was big enough to watch a scary film.  After all, I’d seen Poltergeist and The Ghostbusters, there couldn’t been anything scarier than that.  Clearly you know where this is going, right?

I spent the entire movie hiding underneath the pillow with occasional peaks at the screen.  But the pillow didn’t save me from the terrifying sound effects of Jason stalking the inhabitants of Camp Crystal Lake.  Which was further intensified by the screams that fell victim to him, until the inevitable conclusion of the film.  Hiding wasn’t an option, it was almost as if I was being stalked Jason himself.  Yet just when I was told “it was over”, but it wasn’t, as the final moments tell you – “he’s still out there”

How many of you are looking behind your shoulders right now?

It was a harrowing first experience to nothing I’d ever seen before and it left me with nightmares for a while.  That is until I had a talked with my mom and dad, which quickly resulted in my two siblings getting their ass chewed out.  But after that, I’d realized that the movie was only fiction, just like any other movie or show.

The same thing happened when my mom found some of my nude sketches in my early-teens.  We talked and she gave me the guidance I needed to fully understand my own sexuality.  Her words were of encouragement; more for my art, than the sexual interest towards the body of a woman.

Turning back to how we view violence and sexuality in the modern media.  It seems as though a naked body or sexual relations are considered shameful, almost like Queen Cersei’s “Walk of Shame”  Which is why, I absolutely love HBO, Showtime and many other networks remember that sex and nudity can be an integral part of the narrative and art itself.  As a matter of fact, sexuality and our own bodily experiences come much more naturally than events of rage, trauma and violence.

Yet, I can play the remake of Resident Evil 2; where limbs are shot off, people are torn in half and crushed to death.  (Not saying the portrayal was a bad thing, the remake is PHENOMINAL!)  I’d say this game is, the 2nd most graphic depiction of violence I’ve ever seen in my 30 years of gaming.  (Whereas Mortal Kombat X is #1)  But the violence depicted really suits the game and truly amplified the horror experience.  Now God forbid that we see a bare-naked lady’s ass, genitalia or a full-on sex scene in an M-rated video game!  Because that is just too graphic for us compute.

The line in the sand is drawn only few meters when I step onto the beach in regards to sexual content, yet the other line is being washed away by the tide.

 

WHAT ARE YOUR FEELINGS ON THIS?

Where the hell did I go?

It’s been MIN-UTE!  Well, maybe like a year and well it’s been a pretty interesting year.

As are the years, of all regular oxygen breathing people besides me.  But my blog, so yeah.   The main reason I really left this Popsicle stand was that I felt everything I said was pointless, inconsequential and really didn’t matter to you…or anyone else.  I took a lot of time thinking about if writing was to even be a part of my life and had essentially quit doing it altogether.

How I felt then.

At the time, I’d been going through a difficult period in work and home life.  Then I applied to a gaming website, as a contributor.  Which was swiftly rejected, I distinctly remember the editor saying “my writing was unprofessional and not what they were looking for”, despite the posting for “amateur” work.  The more I wrote, the emptier I felt with each posting.  Other blogs or sites were thriving and well…I was nothing but a grain of sand in the Sahara.

Once my writing no longer gave me joy.  I left here.

I had life push me along like dust from a sandstorm.  I moved through my days doing the regular grind, mindlessly working, being the best dad and husband I could be.  Hell, I even went to Disney World for the first time!

Then the epiphany with a beating heart happened.  I found out I was having a son.  Forget the “mind blown” thought.  It was no longer going to be Three’s Company; my boy (his name is Max, BTW) was now going to be Mr Furley walking in during an awkward moment of eye-brow raising innuendos.  The first thing wasn’t “wow, that’s great!”  It was “OH SHIT!”

Honestly, we NEVER saw this coming.  BOTH Kat (my wife, if I’d never mentioned her name directly on here.) and I had not seen this coming.   Not because, that’s just what careless, albeit perfectly normal sex bring in, as a result.  But that we’d been trying for FOUR YEARS and almost TWO years after having a miscarriage.

Before, we’d had him, (FYI he’s a super cute, yet dribbling 3 month old) our chances of having him were pretty slim.  Me and Kat were seeing a fertility specialist, as we’d both been having issues conceiving.  Put simply, my flamethrower couldn’t light her newspaper-filled dumpster.

Around the third year, which was about the time I decided to hang my hat with you guys.  I became frustrated with my weight, eating habits and activity levels.  I stopped drinking sodas, laid off the sugar, took supplement stacks, chugged a gallon of water a day and kept to it for 4 months straight.  Also, I was on Clomid, AKA baby glue, so maybe that helped the football team make to the end-zone.

Once it happened, our total mood took a turn for the better.  Kat and my depressive state flipped faster than a Mickey Ds burger.  (Provided they are even flipped in the first place.)

She went from being in constant state of lull into a kid waiting for Christmas toys.  Losing a baby before birth, is very different from losing a person already here on this Earth.      Men can only sympathize, but never empathize with that sort of lost.  My advice to all those fellas out there that ever find themselves in this sort situation:  Comfort her, never counsel or coach.  Let time do the work and allow her to find peace in herself.

Thankfully, things have been much better for me.  I’ve reinvigorated my desire to write and share my thoughts with everyone!

Thank you for sticking around guys!

Photo creds:  Cheezburger.com

The Evil Within 2 – A Clearer Picture to an Already Cloudy Mirror

I should be saying “hey everyone, nice to see you!” But its been like 6 months since I last said anything on here. For now, I will save the summary and move onto my motivation to write today. I just finished The Evil Within 2; officially checking this off of my list.

Like everyone in the gaming universe, you’re going to here my muses and perspective. Hopefully you’ll choose to read further…most likely because that’s Metacritic is for! But if you do, there will a nice treat in it for you. (Actually, no there won’t) Okay, its safe to say I’m a little insane. But maybe that is because I’m still feeling a mild bit pseudo-PTSD from playing this game.

Starting off, I’m a vet of the series and survival horror since 1998, so I know my way around a hand crank, if you know what I mean. I play mine on hard and keep my eyes and ears trained, with the lights off! So you know, I like me some good scary shit!

Moving on!

The Evil Within 2 is a direct sequel in number and in story. (Which doesn’t always happen in TV, movies and games these days.) Following the events of the last game, Sebastian Castellanos is drowning himself on 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and…polishing off those bottles before he gets to that last beer and…

Its safe to say that this detective’s life is in the toilet. (Hah!) Thankfully, a familiar face comes back into his life and tells him that the worst parts in his life, didn’t really happen and just an elaborate lie. (Save for all of the murdering and havoc caused by Ruvik, AKA the cheapass teleporting monk, from the first game.) Enter the evil corporation and a motivation for Sebastian to go back into the hell that made him miserable in the first place! BAM!! There you go, EW2’s intro in a nutshell.

Thankfully, not everything is as cliche as you’d think. Sabastian goes in, with a mission to fix “The Matrix”-inspired virtual network and rescue some very important people. In exchange, all of Sebastian’s problems will go away. (FYI, I’m trying to be as vague as possible, because there is a pretty good story to this game!) Sounds easy right? NOPE!! THATS A BIG…

Right as I started playing it, the game thrusted me right into the main antagonist. A seriously F*CK’D UP psychopath who really should’ve been written for “True Detective” season 3. (Come on. HBO!! DO IT!) All I can say is, he reminded me of one part Joker, another part Ed Gein (real life murder who inspired half of horror’s household names.) and a dash of a creepy department store photographer. To be honest, IT WORKED and everything related to him was either terrifying, disturbing or unsettling.

Playing EW2 DOES FELT unsettling and remained so for about 75 percent of the game. As for the survival horror aspect, the game makes you feel like every item counts. Even on normal, I was always looking to scrounge up parts and supplies. Some areas it became a gamble because maybe I didn’t sneak around the enemies good enough or used up too much ammo. This added to the tension when I was exploring new places, along with: the jump scares, when the game screwed with me or mundane moments that turn into “OH SHIT!”

I say that, because there was a lot of that, said by me during my exploration of the town of Union. Searching the town really feels like you are looking for survivors or clues, literally every area will have you on your toes. Sadly, once those areas were explored, the spookiness faded near the end. At this point, the game focused on combat, wrapping the game up and getting me ready for the final push. Ultimately EW2 did redeem itself with huge nods to the previous game and a good finale.

The Evil Within 2 does not leave you hanging or have asking all kinds of questions when everything is said and done. But it did leave itself open for a sequel. I thoroughly enjoyed the game and will go back and finish it on Nightmare, in the future.

I really cannot recommend this game enough you are a survival horror fans. Although fans of Silent Hill and atmospheric horror games may not like for its heavy reliance on combat and stealth. Hardcore survival gamers may think the combat make it easier, but that is what Classic Mode is for! (unlocked after beating it) Rest assured, you’re in for a wild ride that is well worth a trip or two.

One last thing…you’ll never listen to this song the same way again! Enjoy the warm and fuzzies!

As always feel to COMMENT and DISCUSS below.

Prepping up for holidays! Part 1

Yeah, yeah, its not even past Halloween and I’m talkin’ Christmas right?!  No one wants to hear about the long-ass lines to see Santa/Black Friday/parking/food/decorations/slash (lol!), do Christmas cards or deal with the family events.  But if you’ve got little ones, getting your shopping (or a planned out lay-away) over time is the way to go.

Personally, Louie and I went to Toys R Us and got it locked down last week.  Frankly, its a good strategy if you haven’t done it before and really doesn’t cut a hole in your wallet/purse.  That and we dodge all of the BS, while still ACTUALLY DOING the shopping.  Sure, I could do everything online and get a sweet deal.  But it just doesn’t feel the same.  Actually doing the legwork for me, seems to have a weird sense of self accomplishment to it.  Go figure on that one.

I know, ZERO care factor from ya’ll!

Overall, Grace is getting a pretty nice haul for her presents from us.  Most notably, she’s getting a 2DS with a few Mario games.  (With me quietly getting Smash Bros for it!)  🙂  Right now, I do feel she’s pretty young for it, but it seems that she gets on the phone a bit and plays Mario Run too much, along with the usual My Little Pony and Learning games.  But that is where we’re putting a limit on our mobile/gaming time to rainy/cold days, when we need a break or half hour here or there.

As of now, we’ve been pretty light on enforcement with the rule.  But I’d rather she spend her childhood outside, doing activities and less gaming/phone time.  Hopefully it will turn out that way, as I’ve always been a good balance of outgoing and a homebody.

But I really didn’t get any inspiration to write anything down about making a list until I read about the upcoming Wolfenstein: The New Colossus.  Which is one of my must-plays for the upcoming year.  For those that haven’t been following any of the upcoming titles, I’ll give a few bits about them.

1)      Wolfenstein: The New Colossus

If you grew up playing PC games, there is NO WAY you’ve never heard of Wolfenstein 3D.

It was the game that started the First Person Shooter (AKA FPS games) genre and got its reputation for its kill all Nazis gameplay.  The New Colossus is a direct sequel to both Wolfenstein: The New Order and The Old Blood.  (I know, confusing.  The latter is a DLC expansion that is just as good.)

What’s so special?    –  Well, The New Order is a phenomenal game that plays very simplistic.  With its single player only, story driven, shootfest that gives you the option to go stealth until the shit hits the fan.  Its gameplay barely penalizes you for just doing a kill em’ all type of run-through.  It plays just like it used to, when it came out way back in the 90s but runs smooth and combat is tense and satisfying.  That and the story is great take on an alternate-reality of the World War II.

The New Colossus is a clear continuation of that story and gameplay.

This isn’t Call of Duty, I assure of that!

Why am I excited?  –  The new setting and how the events changed things that happened from the previous entry.  It has a brand-new engine by Id Software, which is known for making some powerful engines that rival Unreal and Crytech.  (Which are what MANY of the games we play, run on.  In case you didn’t know.)

That and killing Nazis in Wolfenstein is way better than CoD:  Zombies, without question.

Also, I enjoy a truly mature gaming experience.  Which is where the title has no censorship, the violence, gore and nudity/sex is used correctly and not forced or thrown on a canvas like a trashy painting.  Wolfenstein did that.

Release Date October 27th

2)     The Evil Within 2

The sequel to the former director/creator of Resident Evil, Shinji Mikami.  The Evil Within was a pretty frightening game to experience.  Although it seemed to rely way too much on the mechanics of one of his older titles:  Resident Evil 4.  Which is a classic survival horror game, but most people saw TEW as a clone.  In response to that, The Evil Within was a GOOD CLONE gameplay wise, that did have its moments where you had more bullets than the enemies you were fighting.  But had MANY twisted, tripy and frightening moments.  The first game made me feel tense and on edge throughout my first playthrough.

What’s so special?  –  The first game left a lot more questions than answers, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.  It just left everyone that enjoyed or cared about the story, with a big fat, SO WHAT’S NEXT?!  Most likely, survival horror fans will pick this up, especially if Resident Evil 7’s move to 1st person didn’t sit well with you.  Which was a solid and well executed move for that series.  The Evil Within plays like Resident Evil 4, except on acid.  So you’re in for a wild ride!  It’s release is THIS FRIDAY THE 13th, so it’ll be a no-brainer for a great Halloween title.

Why am I excited?  – Years back, Shinji Mikami made a claim, that he was, “going to bring survival horror, back to its roots”.  Personally, he didn’t really do that in the first game.  Hopefully, he pulls this off and the second one is a phenomenal experience and succeeds on the market!

3)  Star Wars Battlefront II 

Two years ago, DICE released the first Battlefront and the gaming community went apeshit in the WRONG WAY!  Sure, it was DICE’s Battlefield sort of gameplay with everything done up in a beautiful Star Wars fashion.  But a large majority of its gameplay was focused on the multiplayer aspect.  Which is great and all for a military shooter, but this is STAR WARS we’re talking about here!

Seriously, where the HELL was this in the game?! Oh wait, it wasn’t.

The fan base for the series is MASSIVE with only Trekkies and comic fans being the only groups to rival that demand!  So they completely failed in catering to casual gamers that just wanted to boot it up and play a story/reenactment of the series.  That, and it lacked in content or was paid DLC.  (Albiet pretty good DLC)

I’ll admit, there was a lot that was done right about the game, too.  Walker Assualt was pretty cool and the Death Star DLC is pretty badass.  All of the content that was present was faithful and true to the series.  Space and X-Wing/Tie Fighter dogfights were a blast! (Pun intented.)  Battlefront II is set to surpass this in spades and remain true to fans of both shooters and the Star Wars series.

What’s so special?  –  Well it’s Star Wars, with plenty of vehicles, blasters and gadgets to use.  Also, it’s going to be a clear improvement over its predecessor.  Not only will it cover ALL three Star Wars generations, (prequel, original and sequel) it will feature a new story campaign that will cover the period between Episode VI (Return of the Jedi) and VII (The Force Awakens) using an original character.

Yesterday, I sunk my teeth into the Multiplayer Beta.  From what I saw, it looks to be a solid improvement.  The content has been TRIPLED and it seems that EA/DICE is doing away with paid DLC for this.  (SOURCE)  All of this covered by a teaser video featuring John Boyega (AKA Finn)

Why am I excited?  –  The beta is kinda making me a Day 1, which is NEVER what I do.  But this may be the Star Wars/Battlefield experience I was looking for in the first!  I’ve been a Battlefield veteran since Bad Company and Battlefront 1 was the only DICE title to let me down.  (But the DLC did make the game better!)  It comes out November 17th

• That and well THIS!

MORE TO COME ON PART 2

 

 

Beyond Expectations. Biohazard Resident Evil 7 final impressions

 

I’ve finished my Biohazard: Resident Evil 7 experience. Gotta admit, this was a GREAT game! Sadly, this is NOT a Resident Evil game. (Yeah…yeah, I know we’ve heard this before from SOOOOOO many haters/fanboys/political lobbyists/fake news.)

This is NOT Resident Evil!!!     (NERD SAIYAN 3!!)

I’m gonna be straight with you. Like I said in my previous entry, ALL of the elements of a Resident Evil game is here…save for one exception.

 SPOILERS………………………………….THE RESIDENT EVIL STORYLINE.

That’s right RE fans, all of your beloved characters are practically non-existant. Resident Evil has always been known for it’s misguided story and convoluted characters. Yet those characters are LIKEABLE!! So where are they?!?! They’re not here whatsoever. So how Biohazard: RE7 connect to the series?! As far as the base retail game goes, you pretty much get name drops and 30 seconds of “Ooooooh!! Look who it is?!”

Gotta admit, I’m a little mad AND disappointed in regards to the game getting the Resident Evil title. I can live with that, but I love my Resident Evil characters and many of the little stories they get involved in. It’s really a shame that we didn’t have any familiar faces involved in Ethan’s horror story

WITH THAT SAID!!!! RE:7 looked, felt and moved like a Resident Evil game. Hell, if you had VR goggles, probably smelled like Resident Evil. Playing through the game was tense at time, requiring that all too familiar tight item management. This balanced the combat well and in some cases could have made Ethan a little heavily armed for survival horror vets. Fortunately, there is a “Madhouse” setting, which is really where the challenge is at, if you’re up for it. Personally, I used Gamefly (I’m on a budget!), so doing another playthrough isn’t going to happen.

 

Chainsaw, do you take this Shotgun to be your lawfully wedded….NOOOO!    (BOOM!)              –SOURCE

 

Throughout the first half, the mood sets in with well placed audio and visuals cue to bring the tension up. Then as the first bits of action sets in and Ethan fights a losing battle against his soon to be nemesis, the Baker family.  All I can say, is that it’s one HELL of a ride!  Almost the same way Shinji Mikami became inspired by many of the 80s horror films to create the original games; the creators of RE7 took a page from films like The Ring, Saw and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Fortunately, it works and plays well with how the Baker family interacts (or terrorize, toy, beat or cut) with Ethan. (the player character)

What makes RE7 soo enjoyable is that twisted characterization of the family and the story’s simplicity. Granted there are a few things aren’t explained and they leave a few questions left. To be honest, it’s a Biohazard/Resident Evil game; which pretty much entitles all the unexplained parts to be explained somewhere in the optional text files.

Sometimes, simplicity works and here survival horror fans are treated with an excellent title, despite it leaving the fans of the series wanting a continuation of the regular series.

Just so you know, there are subtle mentions of the Raccoon City incident occurring and a teaser of ONE character from the main series… This means only one thing, the RE main story will continue, just not while wading through the Louisiana bayou.

 

Hey buddy!!!  I think your marshmallow is a little too TOASTED!!!           –SOURCE

Final Fantasy XV – ARE WE THERE YET?! NO!!!!

During the holidays, I lucked out and got a copy of Final Fantasy XV. (for $40 mind you) Which is the eighty millionth entry in the series, but only the fifteenth to be named with a shiny new roman numeral. Mind you, this title was initially named, “Final Fantasy Versus XIII”. Even better, the theme of the game is inspired by a great American past time; road tripping!! What the fuck SquareEnix, stop smoking the blue crystal, cuz it sure as hell ain’t magical!!!

 

Anyhoo, XV is a journey involving a young prince (Noctus, AKA Super EMO prince) and his three “bros”. Ingnis, the smartypants and iron chef wannabe. Gladio, the soft-hearted macho man and Auron’s bastard son (not really) and Prompto the social butterfly/wimpy kid.

 

Just remember, guns don’t kill people, Prompto’s bad selfies do.

 

As a team, the “four friends” work well together, combat is super simple to play and chain attacks. Each of them, complement with Noctus’ movements and comment during the battle, to keep things fresh. This is great, that is until you realize, you can HOLD either the attack or defend button and never have a problem…which serves no challenge to season vets of RPGs and Final Fantasy. However, enemies are either serious over-powered or one hit wonders. Thankfully, the visuals and solid boss fights make up for mediocre gameplay.

 

 

Magic kind of gets skimped on and the whole system of using status, time and white magic is condensed into added effects. Using fire, ice and thunder you mix and add potentcy to the elements by mixing in items and other elements. Sadly, the system seems very basic and looks like it could’ve much more exciting. On the up sides, summons do return, even though there are only a few, they are MARVELOUS to watch!!

Story-wise, I’m not impressed with it thus far. Which is mainly due to the massive amount of fetch quests and hunts you have to do in order to level up. It reminds me a bit of Fallout 4 and MGSV, how the quests, looting and exploration were so distracting that you really stopped caring about the main objective. Don’t get me wrong, this is WORLDS better than Final Fantasy XIII’s linear gameplay. At this point things are picking up, but it hasn’t reeled me in like Noctis’ fishing skills. (Yep, there’s fishing AND IT’S FUN!)

In terms of exploration, the world in FFXV is BEAUTIFUL!! Monsters are immersed into the world and naturally behave in it until the party gets into a battle with them. Exploring takes to different paths, first is using the Regalis (or the Noctus-mobile) which you can drive to ANY destination when you have access to the area. Initially, seems pretty sweet cruising and enjoying the view; that is until remember that sitting in a car is BORING AS FUCK. Let alone, a virtual car ride. Thankfully, once you’ve reached each area, you can fast travel!!! Then there is using chocobos (FF horses) or good ol’ hoofing it. I recommend you use chocobos more often, as they do give you a chance to truly enjoy the design of the world. (Something I learned to appreciate during my playthrough of The Witcher 3. Horses add depth…NO BULLSHIT!)

 

 

Towns are replaced with rest stops that pretty much just serve as outposts to recouperate, do side quests and hunt missions. Honestly, this may seem disappointing at first. That is, until you get to the bigger cities, which add a little spice to the world you’re in. Personal advice, do the side quests if you need curatives and the hunts for money and EXP otherwise, they are a worthless grind with no story or anything else. (Save a few exceptions)

In a nutshell, my experiences thus far, with well over 40+ hours in; if you are patient enough to sit throught the lengthy car rides. Then Final Fantasy XV is worth your time. Overall, it’s an improvement over the previous titles in terms of things to do and see.

INSERT MASSIVE IN-GAME AD!!!!!!!!!

CUP-O-NOOOOODLEE!!!!  (Which are actually REALLY gross!!!)

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-RACCOON DADDY

 

 

Funny gaming – The protagonist from RESIDENT EVIL 7 ain’t got nuthin’ on this guy!!

Tis’ but a flesh wound!!