Many gamers have heard the phrase, Jill sandwich. Even if Barry Burton meant to be literal or was just trying to be perverted is beyond me. One thing’s for sure, when you go back and look at the original Resident Evil, that’s what it feels like, a good corny joke. Back in 1995, this bad boy was state of the art and put Survival Horror into the video game dictionary.

What makes this so substantial, even though there is a vastly superior REMAKE. (A true remake, not a fucking reimagining, flashback/forward/sideways or a fresh coat of paint) It’s because there is more to the corniness that makes the Playstation 1 version STILL playable.

Before I begin, I want to say that Resident Evil 1 got me into gaming for the stay. I played it so much, that I re-drew the maps on paper, made maps of where certain things happened and where monsters were and even pieced together possible stories that occurred in the mansion during the viral outbreak. This got me so inspired that I hand wrote 70 pages of storyline…okay fan fiction which gave me a deeper understanding of how to take something and build upon it. Put simply, I loved Resident Evil and still do to this day, despite mutations in later sequels.

Following a poorly scripted B-movie intro video, the mansion doors close on the S.T.A.R.S. Alpha Team’s survivors. The team gets their bearing and checks out a mysterious gun shot, only to find that someone who A) likes to chomp on people B) Needs a fucking napkin C) related to Powder and D) wants some more food…meaning you. After unloading an entire 15-round Beretta mag into him, that pasty zombie goes down. (Or you could’ve had Ed McMann…ahem I mean Barry Burton plug 3 .357 rounds into HIS FACE)

Once Jill/Chris and Barry have done and left a mess for the maid to clean up, they begin searching for their poor bastard friends, the Bravo Team. Let’s just say, they got the short end of the stick…sans Becky. Who seems awefully puny and helpless for someone who just took out a LEECH QUEEN! After some puzzles and dealing with Indiana Jones’ bane of existence, you get to thinking, what kind of drugs was the architect on when he made this place…hrmm interesting…very interesting.

Despite that, the team heads out to cross into other buildings and have to fight a wild pack of zombie dogs all while not stepping in dog shit. (C’mon, don’t tell me zombie dogs don’t shit, cuz they do, because it’s funny)

Luckily, they come across a dormitory that has a big ass plant that LOVES to choke motherfuckers and get a lil’ grab ass on the side. (Okay, maybe not the grab ass part, unless that’s ya know..your thing) Fortunately, Chris brought his Rambo knife and pruned that overgrown weed.  (That’s cuz Bat

(Of course, not without the help of the 18 year old expert killer, paramedic, swat team member and holder of a biochem degree – Rebecca Chambers. Seriously, it says that in her dossier in the user manual)

Once they get to the lab, they fight the thing that the bad guy has cooked up in a crock pot, that clearly is a failure in the eyes of the “master of unlocking” Jill Valentine and the guy “most likely to punch boulders” Chris Redfield. Much later, and one empty Rocket Launcher on the ground, the team makes it out and the mansion becomes matchsticks.

So why would I still love this game, because it really did have that feeling of possible death. Run out bullets, run or not, your gonna die eventually. Swim to long in a pool full of sharks, ya gonna die. Use a 9mm on a Hunter, ya gonna die.

Visually, there was so much that made the original great. Couple that with the Directors Cut, which gave you access to an arranged newer version with totally new music, item locations and different things to find AND the original version of the game.

My suggestion, go play RE1 and let me know if you regretted doing that.

 

 

BTW, I’m feelin’ an itch to make a fiction on this.  I’ll probably start working on it, to give myself some good practice.  It’s been a while since I’ve written a narrative.

Till then, here something for a good laugh. (Credit to Legendary Frog )

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