WITCHER 3 SPOILER FOR THE WHITE ORCHARD AND VELEN AREAS!!!!!

Right off the bat as me and old guy trotted into White Orchard, I felt like crying my eyes out. (not really but I felt petty bad) Houses are burnt to the ground, people are hanging on tree branches like fucking ripe apples, kids and women crying over dead family members, etc.  It was really depressing, Jesus.  But I got over it for now at least, rest assured I realized that this game is gonna get depressing.  (In a narrative manner)

Once, I began doing some menial questing a learning the basic, I did my first ghost hunt.  It was good and reminded me of Batman’s detective mode, only Witcher-style

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Credit to Gardaw

More or less, the ghost was exercised and I moved on.  Yet it turned out later, that the small village and the surrounding areas, were all interconnected.  Various quest and NPC conversations, later paint a picture of why such tragedy has struck White Orchard, sans the recent battle that crushed the local army into pieces.

Turns out the women that hung herself in the town well, was a tragic victim of a much larger scope.  She was to marry the local lord’s son, but before they could be married, the man, whom just happened to be rolling around in the hay with another man.  Mind you, is fictional feudal 12th century, social acceptance of homosexuality is at the bottom of their list.  So how is a prince to handle it, he kills himself as well.  (He does it before her, thus setting off a chain reaction.)

It dawned upon me, for the first time EVER in a RPG, has the whole world you are playing is interwoven into the SIDE QUESTS.  Overall, I’ve noticed that each area, has its own story.  Which is PHENOMENAL!!!  Not only that, they are very well written.  My focus during my playthrough, is to always see the job through; which the game does give you a few curve balls that will intentionally get you to take the short and easy route.  Which is just take the gold and be on your way.  Nah!  I want to know all the juicy tidbits.

Once I managed to take care of all of my errands, I found myself going to talk to this Bloody Baron guy.  Whom to me at first, I imagined would be a dickhead, I’d just end up fighting after a simple exchange in words.  NOPE, I was completely wrong, perhaps it’ll be a fetch this and I’ll tell you everything.  WRONG AGAIN!!!  This shit is about to get deep, so you better bring waders, goggles and an apron.

First, I talk to this a-hole, and he tells me I gotta find his wife and daughter…sure easy enough.  Easy enough.  First, I tracked down, the area where their horses went missing…nadda.  But it led me to interesting little tidbit, the wife was pregnant and had a miscarriage.  (Sad :(, see I told you…depressing shit)  Turns out the Baron knew this.

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OHHH SNAP!!!

Turns out that his unborn daughter, the dead fetus, was cursed and had turned into a monster.  A monster that preys on healthy pregnant women and kills both the child and women…DARK…VERY DARK!!  But we didn’t kill the monster, instead I had the Baron pick the toddler-sized monster and calmed it so he could carry it.  It was to be buried by his castle in order to free the spirit.  Following a nice little escort with the occasional swordfight with some ghosts, we made it to the castle and buried the monster.  (Well, that was a nice non-violent ending)

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A spirit arises in the middle of the night and guides me towards the missing ALIVE daughter’s last known location.  Turns out she high tailed it to the big city away from drunk ol’ dad and believes he mom is dead.  (Before they disappeared, a large monster scooped up the wife, killing her horse and the daughter escaped)

After that, I had a rumor of where the last location of the mom was.  Turns out she was being held by a blood contract with three evil witches.  The miscarriage was part of the contract with the witches and that they nabbed her scrawny ass, so she could be their slave.   This is some…..

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But I wasn’t about to handle Cindy, Mindy and Sandy, as they may fucking Delta Attack my ass and I’d have to take advantage of their reflect spell.

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WAIT!  WRONG WITCHES!

 

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DAMN!  You sho is UGLY!!!!!!

Regardless, I wasn’t gonna defeat them on my own.  So I take the fatass Baron, that his lil’ girl hated his ass and that she’s off working for dollars in the nearby strip club and his better half is in deep with the witches of Eastwich.

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Minus Jacky of course!!

Mind you, during all this, he fully admits that he was beating his wife because she hated him.  This was because she was cheating on him; while he was out doing what was right.

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Back in our day, raping, murdering and pillaging, is what you did after breakfast!!!

Turns out he killed Mr. loverboy and she hated him.  Which is where all of this came full circle, when he got drunk one night and knocked her down the stairs.

So he’s like, alright everyone, grab your pitchforks and torches, we’re gonna burn some witches!!  So I was like okay, what about your daughter, she’s a stripper.  (Nothin’)  So I haul my ass over to the big city to tell her, that mummy ain’t dead.  Turns, she’s shackin’ up with witch hunters, so low and behold.  GUESS WHAT COMES NEXT!!

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TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS!!!

When its all said and done, the witches aren’t there, so you can imagine the sad faces when we get there.  But a nice welcoming party was there and I was just left with the daughter, myself and the father still alive.

Turns out, the angry mob thing pissed the witches off enough, that they cursed the mother into a monster, which was reverse with a little bit of voodoo magic…stuff.  She reverted to her human form, but was only strong enough to say her last goodbyes.  She died in the swamp and the family buried her nearby.

After this, I was told to meet up with the father at his castle to get my payment for helping him.  What I found was him swinging by his neck on a large tree.   Seriously, sad and deep shit.

Motherfucker!!  Can’t believe he left me hangin’ like!  Now how am I gonna pay for the laundry bills to get this damn swamp stench out of them.

 

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