calmb4storm

This evening Louie, my wife, sat down in the bathroom with me while our 3yr old girl was taking her bath.  She said, “I have some really bad news.”

She told me that one of our closest friends’ husband was just diagnosed with Cancer.  It hit home for me, and obviously her.  His diagnosis is not a positive one and the way it looks, it will take a miracle of some form for her husband to make a full recovery.

It got thinking on many levels, this evening.  Louie and I are trying to have a second child and it has been a tough process, with many difficulties on the way.  Yet the family that is currently dealing with this terrible news, have had their own issues with conception and have never been blessed with a child…which makes me feel terrible.

It made me think, that I’ve been taking the time, resources and moments with my loves, Louie and my daughter.  This man, Will; whom we are praying for now, is now on borrowed time.  It’s hard to imagine what direction Will is going to take, with this new turn in his life.  Is he going to sink into a deep depression and become cynical or take the time he has seize it until his last moments.  I don’t know, but I pray he takes the latter.

It hits hard for me in another way, too.  My family has had many issues with Cancer.  First, my grandmother, was diagnosed with brain Cancer and passed away when I was 5-years old.  Second, my father, who was diagnosed with it in his esophagus and later in his stomach, passed in 1997.  And last was my mother, whom was diagnosed with stage-4 colon cancer in September of 2011, passed away April 16th of that next year.  Which has most likely put me on a fated path to eventually receive the condition as well.

Because of what has happened to my family, I’ve come to terms with this reality.  Although, I’m not going to accept that…I will get my screenings done early and now more than ever; I must begin to prepare my beloved Louie and my sweet daughter for the worst.  Like the building momentum of the seas; it isn’t about if the storm is coming…but when.

Now is the time to get our finances ready and everything prepared, so they taken care of.  The proper actions must be taken to brace for rough seas; as it is very possible, that ten  or fifteen years from now…I am going to be in the same boat as Will.

The words “Carpe Diem” (Latin meaning, “seize the day”) reverberate as I write this, and that must hold true.

When I think about this, I contemplate as to if, I should continue gaming on a regular basis.  It bothers me, it really does.  But it’s a part of me that is not only an outlet for the frustrations and break from the trials of life.  It’s an activity that I enjoy and have not diminished in alleviating much of the stress I undergo on a daily basis.  (Let’s just say that my occupation, is one that most people would never want to do and has much to sacrifice with little, in return.)

So, for now, there will be another plate I will have to balance for the future.  But it will be the most important, and that is the preparation for what is yet to come.

I have a saying that has kept me thinking positively throughout my life so far.

 

Harsh times are here in the present, but the best is yet to come.

 

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